How do you cope when you know somebody won't accept you ?

im a bpd and ptsd sufferer, iam 30 years old and have had a very rough life.


i have never built up any relationships in life with either male or female because of the trauma and mental health problems i sustained.





growing up and throughout my life i have been bullied severley....ive suffered assaults, muggings...time in a psyche hospital...survived alot of horrible thangs..





ive never been employed, never had qualifications....and have been on welfare benifit the majority of my life.





i suffer with extreme low self worth but iam also very vain in my mind.





i have physical imperfections that get me down, ive aged prematurley...dark lines under my eyes....im bald....i have 2 missing teeth, front, bottom row...need implants, which are expensive.


i have physical worries im having investigated at the moment...aching joints, frequent urination.





for a while now ive been corresponding with this cute, chubby redhead from kansas via myspace then added on to msn through email..

How do you cope when you know somebody won't accept you ?
I'm happy u find some one u like, don't worry about your look when u and her was sending each other message ,u fall in love with her because of her personality, she also fall in love with your personality too, don't let your problem effect u, if she happen to see your pic and she find it weird than that her problem, beauty is only skin deep.i 'm pretty sure that she will understand what's u going through, maybe she will be one of your hope to get your life better. remember , be patience and continue being who u are and things will fall in to the right places.
Reply:The only way for others to accept you is to be yourself , other than your related problems , there is a real self underneath .


If you are in love, that should be enough to bring out the amazing side of you .


Most of all , you have to be honest to yourself and the one you love. By pretending you are someone else would only be deceitful and will end up hurting those you love.


Ultimately ,it is up to the other party to accept you . If they can't accept you , they are not worthy of your time.
Reply:Don't let your insecurities make you think you have nothing to offer. You have love to offer! Its free and the most amazing thing someone can give another person! Physical appearances change, people change its life. Money comes and goes and so do possessions! Be true to yourself and her and if its meant to be it will!


You are a survivor from what you have written, so if one little chubby redhead girl in Kansas doesn't take to you, you are better off with out! There is someone else out there...just find confidence in yourself. Thats the key!





good luck!





myspace.com/pochichi
Reply:the amount of times you've called yourself "worthless" and "hopeless" is probably a symptom of your problems. Think about it this way; you want to get closer to this woman, right? And if she's a real friend she'll not judge you for your appearance or problems, correct? If she does, why give her a moment more of your time? Just do it, and see how things go; forget about your predictions of doom for a moment. Maybe she'll be more tolerant and accepting than you thought, and you'll both grow closer from the experience. good luck!
Reply:You should definitly let her see you via the internet before real life, it would be way less traumatizing to you I think, if she ended up being a jerk in real life. You should do that immediatley before your feelings get any deeper, because if she can't accept you, it's just going to tear you up, so do it quickly.





Try to go back to school and learn some valuable skill that will get you hired easily. Computers are a great fall back. Just do something that will enable you to learn a skill that other people don't have, so that you can build confidence in yourself.
Reply:Your question was to long, but to answer the top sentence, I just say their loss not mine. Screw them and the horse they rode in on. That philosophy has kept me out of the insane asylum for quite some time. ;-)
Reply:Quit living in the past. Sure you may have had a rough life but so have a lot of other people. The past is the past leave it there. Get over it.


Find some kind of job where they will train you. Get off of your butt and do something constructive.


If you work you can fix your physical imperfections..


Nobody is perfect.


You need to act in a way that you can respect yourself and like you.


Don't lie to the girl and let her think you are something you are not. Or that you feel something you don't feel.


Let her know that you have work to do on yourself and would like to be her friend. When you feel like it is time open up to her and maybe she can help you. She may have issues you can help her with.
Reply:first of all after you've built up a friendship you need to be honest with her about what's going on in your life. Before you do that you need to not sound whiney, merely state the facts. You want to visit another country but that's costly and you don't have the money to do that (you said), and, unless marriage were in the picture I don't think you could just go to another country without being able to support yourself and being a professional at what you do. So I think you are over dreaming this and you're going to get disappointed and depressed over it.





If you have been bullied, mugged, beat up or whatever then you need to get some form of employment (there are testing places run by your county or state to see what work you can do, and then they help you find work, even piecework) and you should move to a better neighborhood, even if you have to share an apartment for a while till you can make it on your own. Having decent income and a career are two things that attract females. Learning a skill or a new skill and supporting yourself does cure the self-esteem problem. If you feel uncomfortable with your looks you can later work from home or in an office wherein you don't have to meet clients. Here in the US there is paid education and assistance to find work thru the state and government for people with disabilities, check out to see where that is located in your country. Best of luck to you.
Reply:You can not make people like you. I have people who like me and people who don't, don't let the dust settle on your shoe keep on going. People like me for me and not for my looks, you have to be a friend to have a friend.




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