Say if this girl i started to like rejects me when she finds out about me or sees a picture of me ?

recentley ive made contact with a pale, milk bottle white, cute chubby redhead from kansas usa.....i messaged her from myspace and we exchanged messages and seemed to hit it off....since then...ive added her to msn...and ive been emailing her for a couple of months.....but theres some things shes doesnt know about me....and she hasnt seen pictures of me..





heres the story and background:





im a bpd and ptsd sufferer, iam 30 years old and have had a very rough life.


i have never built up any relationships in life with either male or female because of the trauma and mental health problems i sustained.





growing up and throughout my life i have been bullied severley....ive suffered assaults, muggings...time in a psyche hospital...survived alot of horrible thangs..





ive never been employed, never had qualifications....and have been on welfare benifit the majority of my life.





i suffer with extreme low self worth but iam also very vain in my mind.





i have physical imperfections that get me down, ive aged prematurley...dark lines under my eyes....im bald....i have 2 missing teeth, front, bottom row...need implants, which are expensive.


i have physical worries im having investigated at the moment...aching joints, frequent urination.





for a while now ive been corresponding with this cute, chubby redhead from kansas via myspace then added on to msn through email..

Say if this girl i started to like rejects me when she finds out about me or sees a picture of me ?
I am sorry about all your problems. And hopefully you find someone that's right for you to help ease your pain.





I think you should tell her a little bit about your past, don't show any pictures. Just say what you've just said to us, and see her reaction... if she does not care then you can now calm down and know you guys were meant to be. However if she seems like she's going to reject you (don't decide for her, let her say it-if she says i'm not interested thn okay... don't put words in her mouth- eg: she probably rejected me because she hasn't talked to me yet) thn that's ok, you will probably find someone out there.





Don't lie about anything because she won't fall in love with YOU she'll fall in love with the FAKE YOU. I think you should tell her now before you start liking her even more and becoming attached.





Good Luck!!! :)





p.s- if she still seems interested, then i guess you can show her a picture...that's your decision.
Reply:oh boy. honesty isn't nice sometimes. I would say that if you continue liking her, you might get hurt.


i would tell her about your problems first before showing her the picture.
Reply:well it seems like you are associating yourself only with the problems you have. you need to see past the problems you have (everybody has problems) and i am sure there are great qualities. let those qualities shine and not the negative ones you worry too much about.
Reply:the saddest thing here, is that you have already made the whole relationship, thought for her, made up your mind of what she is going to think, etc....not much for her to do in this relationship really....it's sad, that you can't see, that you have to take a chance, and be yourself....you don't want to have someone fall in love with a fake persona you have created, just to try to please someone else...there is no doubt, many others who feel exactly like you do, but because they are hiding it too, they will never meet you...let HER make up her mind, and if she does she does, if she doesn't? MOVE ON...but you should stop describing her every appearance, etc..I find that a bit of a lack of concern for her feelings, and if she read that somehow, she would probably be highly insulted
Reply:hey. what you went through is really horrible. this is a pretty hard question to answer. usually i would say that if she really likes you, she won't care what you look like but nowadays, I'm not so sure. you could slowly tell her some stuff that's happened, just so you can get her informed. don't go stuffing it all into one e-mail, but tell her bit by bit, slowly and carefully. you can even ask her "would you care how i look if you ever saw a picture of me?" and see what her response is. if you two do meet than i guess you'll find out what she thinks then. but even if she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do her, remember that their is someone for everyone, you included.
Reply:hello. i understand how difficult this must be for you. spilling your most intimate fears online for all to see. i don't know if what i have to say will help or not, but i mean it with the utmost care and support. from the sounds of things, you have some major issues with your past and health that need to be delved into before you can be healthy enough to be healthy for this cute, chubby readhead, friend of yours. if she really cares for you, then she cares; but you need to sort out your own issues first so you can be healthy to have a successful relationship with her. it sounds like you have difficulty making emotional connections that will last with others and that is a very big component of relationships, all of them, regardless of gender. ptsd is serious. if you are suffering from it, you need to get help. perhaps from a counselor or clergy, since you don't have other relationships to fall back on. something that detailed and involved should be dealt with by a professional that can help you work through things that are currently obstacles, and put them in a place where you can continue on your road to happiness. roadblocks that big can not remain or the car will break down trying to pass them and then you will be stuck, on the road, in the middle of nowhere, with no way to get where you are going. pardon the metaphor, but it's true. i saw something when i was very little, and it has stuck with me; and i use it in my own life's difficulties, "life is hard, yard by yard. inch by inch, it's a cinch". i don't know who the author is, but it is true. one step at a time.


good luck to you, and think about what i said...it's not too late for you...you are just hitting your prime, you know, they say life begins at 40...you're just a babe yet!



girls myspace